Don’t use the “S” word!


It’s almost New Year’s Eve and I feel obliged to address the tradition of making those New Year’s Resolutions…

Oh boy…I can just hear you thinking…

“I really should ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­start going to the gym/make more money/(you fill in the blank) this year!”

Sound familiar? I’ll bet it does! And how many of those resolutions have you actually accomplished? Be honest with yourself. No judgement. Just reflect back and see how many of those resolutions actually manifested.

Now let’s talk about why they didn’t happen. Because they probably weren’t your idea in the first place! They were something you felt you should do, probably because someone said so at some point. Or you read it in an article, or saw a picture of someone with the “perfect” body (whatever that is!) And you decided you should do it too. Or you don’t even remember how or when you got that idea, but you think you should do it.

So let’s try something new this year, shall we? Any time you catch yourself saying “I should do this or that,” (this means you have to begin to listen to how you talk to yourself) I want you to STOP. And take a minute, breath in deeply, and feel your physical reaction to that statement. Really feel it! You may find you feel a slight restriction in your chest, a shortness of breath, a loss of energy. This is like a little red flag that you are resisting that “should!” You actually do NOT WANT to do it! Your subconscious is rebelling because it knows it’s not your idea!

Now I want you to take that exact same thought – and substitute the word “could” for “should.” Let’s take an example:
“I SHOULD go to the gym everyday for at least an hour.” The minute you say this, you feel your chest restrict, your stomach tightens and you begin to think of excuses for why you can’t do it. Come on, you’ve got tons of excuses, right? Too much work. Lunch hour is too short. I’m too tired after work!

Now, let’s try substituting could for should:“I COULD go to the gym every day, for at least an hour, but I COULD also alternate the gym with a bike ride, which I really enjoy, or maybe just go to the gym for ½ hour at lunchtime, so I am energized for the afternoon. Or maybe I could take a brisk walk after lunch, or maybe, if I work out really hard one day, I could give my body a rest the next day, so that the following day, I’ll have even MORE energy!” See how many more possibilities there are?

In her book, “The top 5 Regrets of the Dying” Bronnie Ware quotes the TOP regret as: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

So, I want you to answer this question for yourself today…Wild Thing, what makes your heart sing?

And then answer the call to that wild in 2021!

I’ll leave you with a Chinese Proverb: “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”


Scroll to Top